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Tuesday, December 28, 2010

THE PAST




copyright 2019 john carlson









Mom died on a Thursday, ten days after her eighty-ninth birthday with all of her children surrounding her in the hospice room. We knew it was time. The doctor, with our consent, had increased the dosage of morphine to keep her comfortable and hasten the inevitable.

As we left the hospice and stepped into the crisp morning air it was still dark, my attitude ambivalent.   My conflicted feelings had a numbing effect. Although I was deeply grieving her passing, I also felt as though a weight was crumbling -- falling from me like ash. All of us had spent much time in doctors offices, clinics and, before the final move to hospice care, the hospital. I wouldn’t be coming back to this place again. I wouldn’t be helping my mother slowly make her way into any of these places -- no more appointments, no more hospital cafeteria food, no more hours spent beside her reading as she slept. No more enduring the arrogant impatient attitudes of doctors delivering the results of the latest blood tests -- or reminding harried nurses that they were late with her meds and need to attend to her ASAP. So my relief was mixed with sadness and a little guilt.



**** **** ****


Two weeks later my sisters, my brother and I were set up for an estate sale. Since mom’s apartment had to be vacated before month’s end, we decided to move all of her possessions to my house. A neighbor had told me to have the sale early in the morning because estate sales advertised in the newspaper were magnets for deal-hungry aggressive people. Some of them would be outside my house peeking in windows and salivating long before the time I’d announced.

The days had become perceptibly shorter. The early evening darkness and the prolonged dawns were depressing. They made me tired and sleepy.  I was anxious to climb into my warm bed and get the deep sleep I needed. Everything was set up for the sale in my double car garage so I could relax until tomorrow.


It seemed as though I had barely fell asleep when I was awakened by a knock at the door. Annoyed, I looked at the clock on my bedside table. Damn it was only four o’clock! “what the hell,” I muttered as I rolled out of bed and stumbled down the hall to the front door. It had been snowing and the yard was already layered with a white glistening blanket, so I was even more surprised, and slightly alarmed, to see a young woman standing on my porch. She was without a jacket and poorly dressed for the cold.  I 'm sure my voice sounded testy.  "Yes?”   I assumed her car was stuck and she needed a phone, but I was wrong.

 
“I’m terribly sorry if I’ve awakened you,” she said in a concerned but sweet tone. “Is this where the estate sale is to be held?”


Oh my gawd, I thought, growing even more irritated. “The sale isn’t until seven o’clock! And there isn’t much of value anyhow. Come back then.”


“Yes, I understand,” she said, “but I’m afraid I'll be long gone by that time and I had my heart set on being here." She smiled and raised her eyebrows pleadingly.


I just stood there staring at her. The grogginess of sleep was clearing up. She was very pretty and very pale. In fact her skin nearly glowed. Like the snow behind her, there was a vague shimmer to her skin. But as fast as I registered her beauty I also suspected that she was a little crazy. Who would be dressed like that in this bone chilling cold? She wore a red tank top under a pink cotton shirt, tight jeans that she must have poured herself into, and a pair of leather open-toed sandals.

I sighed impatiently. “You must be freezing out there.”


She smiled. “I don’t really get cold.”


“Well, come in, just the same.”


She followed me down the hall where I opened the inside door to the garage. “As long as you’re here, you may as well look around.”


As put out as I was, I stood and watched her, admiring her shape as she slowly made her way around the tables, furniture and piles of stuff. Her movements were smooth as a cats. She picked up an old photo album, thumbed through it. She looked up at me surprised. “You’re not keeping this?” she asked as she gently placed the album down.


“I’m not very interested in all that old stuff.”


“But surely you have siblings or relatives who will want them . . . I mean after all, they are your ancestors aren’t they?”


I shrugged.


She picked up a framed photo from the same box that the album was in. “Who are these pretty ladies here?”


“My mother and my aunt.”


She smiled, “they look like Maud and Myrna.”


“What?” I said. Maud and Myrna were my grandfather’s sisters long since deceased. “How could you know that?” I demanded. “Who are you?”


She glided toward me holding out her hand. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t introduce myself. I’m Virginia.”


I took her hand. It was very cold. “Jake,” I said. “How do you know about my family?”


“I saw a photo of them in the album, Silly.”


“Oh, right. I just thought . . . It was . . . Kind of strange.

Her laugh was musical and disarming. I laughed too. “Okay,” she said suddenly, “I’ve found what I want.”


“But you’ve hardly looked at anything.”


“I’ve got a good eye,” she answered.


“Only one?” I laughed. I immediately felt embarrassed by the corny pun and wished I hadn't said that.


She walked around the room purposefully retrieving various items she could scarcely have seen in the short time she‘d been there; a dark old oil painting of a landscape, a bowl and ewer, two big plastic jugs with funnel and siphon hose. Then she bent over a large box of old vinyl LPs that Mom had hung onto. I moved to help her as I knew the box was very heavy. I’d had barely been able to lift it when I had moved it from Mom’s to my truck and from my truck into my garage. But before I took two steps she scooped up the box as if it was empty. She must have seen the shock and surprise on my face and said; “This one is kind of heavy.”


I burst out laughing. “Are you for real?”


“As far as I know,” she smiled.


“Let me help you get this stuff to your car,” I said.


“So how much do I owe you?” The records were probably worth a lot. I gave her a sum and she paid me from a man’s wallet without batting an eye.


“Would you like something hot to drink before you go? Coffee, Tea? I could make hot chocolate.”


“I’d love to but I can’t. That’s why I came early remember? I’m driving down to Texas and I am not sure I’ll make it back by Monday as it is.”


“That’s a long distance. Where about in Texas? Some of my family came from there.”


“Yes, I know,” she said hurriedly, “I live near Dublin, Comanche County.”


That sounded familiar, I thought to myself. I helped her load up the stuff she bought and watched as she stepped into the drivers seat. “Thanks so much Jake. You’ve been too kind.”


“What about the old photo album? Did you want that?”


Her smile dropped and she almost glared at me. “Jake, you keep those photos. They’re important and one day you’ll see that.”


“Alright,” I agreed. She smiled again and slowly pulled away. I watched her until her car disappeared around the corner. I wished I’d asked her more questions, asked for her number even. Silly though since she lived in another state and far away from here. I looked at my watch. It was already six o’clock but the sun wouldn’t rise until nearly eight. I felt a strange disappointment as I walked back into the house. I retrieved the album and sat it on the kitchen table, then prepared myself some breakfast.


As I ate, I thumbed through the album. There was indeed a photo of my great aunts Maud and Myrna -- but there was nothing written to indicate there names. I shook my head. Bizarre.


**** **** ****


A week later I was at work where I tended bar. I was not particularly watching the clientele. It was a large place with a huge dance floor and there were only three of us working behind the bar. Nevertheless, I occasionally glanced out beyond the line of people in front of me. I almost choked on the water I was drinking as I saw a woman walking toward me with a wide grin on her face. She came directly to my station, cutting in front of other patrons waiting to order.


“Virginia!” I said. “I thought you were in Texas by now.”


“I decided to stay awhile. Thought I’d drop by and say hello.”


"That’s great! But how did you know where to find me?”


She shrugged and said. “lively place. What time are you off work?”


My heart beat faster. “I’ll be done by two-thirty. Why?”


“I’ll take you up on that hot drink you offered last week. How about meeting me at that all night diner across the street when you're off?”


I watched her turn and walk away, hips swaying like a well timed metronome. The rest of the night drug on and I thought I’d never be done. I will not relive that first meeting other than to say I was in awe of this pale graceful thing. But she proved unresponsive to anything more than amiable conversation and a little innocent flirtation.


She agreed to meet me several times -- always in the evenings and never for meals -- just drinks. She was very interested in my life, my family, my history, my friends but I could never coax information from her. The only thing she ever said about her life was that she missed her sisters. “I’ve got three; Amanda, Rebekah and Jasmine. I miss them so much.”


“They’re in Texas?”


“You could say that,” she answered. Whatever that meant.


I suppose familiarity can breed contempt but I was surprised to find myself growing more and more impatient at her unchanging, almost static personality. At first it had been charming but the more I saw her, the more irritated I became by the sameness of her, her evasiveness, her unresponsiveness to romance or sexual innuendo. I couldn’t get to first base and it finally broke through my thick skull that I never would. She was some sort of walking talking laughing statue.


So the next time I saw her, as far as I was concerned would be our final date.  As she walked with me to the car, she looked up at me quizzically. “What’s wrong Jake?”


“This romance is going nowhere,” I answered.


“Romance?”


“You see?” I shouted. “What am I to you, just some guy to keep you company?

“Jake. I think you are adorable, but we can’t. You’re going to be a great catch for someone someday, but we. . .”


“Can’t” I interrupted. “Why? Are you married. Diseased? What?”
At that moment a gang of young guys was beside us. I hadn’t even noticed them approaching. Their belligerent attitude was apparent before one of them opened his mouth. “Nice wheels,” he said rubbing my car.


“Don’t touch that,” Virginia said to the guy.


“What’d you say bitch? You got something to say to me?”


“She said don’t touch that,” I interjected. “We don’t want any trouble here so . . .”


The guy interrupted me. “Oh, I see. You’re here to protect the lady. Your ho’s got a nice ass. I bet she likes it doggie style. Maybe she wants to share. You wanna share a piece, baby,” he said as he reached out toward her butt. She threw his arm away before he actually touched her.


“You touch me,” she said in a low steely voice that I’d never heard, “I’ll rip your arm off.”


The other guys, silent until now, started laughing and hooting. “What the fuck did you say, you skanky bitch?” he said, reaching out again.


What happened next was so fast and violent I could hardly process it all.


She grabbed his right arm and yanked it behind his back. Then she jerked it up at an impossible angle above his head. There was a sickening snap and the guy fell to the ground screaming. The others stood there in disbelief, but before they could react there was a frenzy of movement. In a blur three of them were on the ground and a few feet away Virginia had one of them pinned against a tree. There was a horrible growl as she bent over him. It looked as though she was kissing his neck. As the boy’s body grew limp, she looked over at me with wild eyes. Her mouth and chin were glistening in the dim streetlight and her tongue was lolling like a happy puppy. Then she smiled at me. “It’s okay Jake. He’s not dead.”


Oh my gawd, it was blood on her face! I jumped in my car -- cowardly, I know -- revved the engine and peeled out, spraying a rooster tail of gravel and dirt behind me. I drove and drove, no destination. I was just driving down the highway to put miles between me and her. After a while I slowed down and pulled over, still gripping the steering wheel with enough force to cause my hands to go numb. My cell went off and I picked it up -- but I didn’t say anything.


“Jake.” It was Virginia.


“Okay!” I yelled. “I get it. You can’t love me because you’re a fucking vampire!” I almost choked on that word, believing and not believing at the same time.


“No, Jake, that’s not it. I . . .”


“You bit that kid, Virginia! I saw the blood spurting from his neck. It was all over your face. What the hell?”


“Look Jake. Just calm down, I can explain everything. It’s almost sunrise now and I’ve got some things that need to be taken care of but I’ll come to your place tomorrow night.”


“No! Stay away from my house. And stay away from me. I’ll keep your secret if that worries you, but don’t come near me.”


“Jake, please. Calm down for Christssake.”


“You got a lot of nerve bringing Christ into this.”


There was a stifled chuckle from her end of the line. “Be home tomorrow Jake. I’m not going to hurt you, but I must tell you something. It’s important. You’ll understand everything. You’ll feel better.”


“Like hell,” I said. But my voice sounded weak now. I was suddenly so tired. I snapped the phone shut.




**** **** ****




Virginia did not show up the following night. There was disappointment mingled with my relief. I had been worried too about the scene that I had fled the night before. Had the police been called? Was there any chance I could be connected to the violence. She said she hadn’t killed the boy, but I didn’t know anymore whether I could trust her.


Almost three weeks passed before I heard a knock at the door one night. My heart was beating out of my chest as I answered the door, sensing that it was her.


“Jake,” she whispered.


I moved aside and let her enter. As she passed me I wanted to embrace her, I wanted to run from her, I wanted to weep like a child. I followed her into my kitchen where she pulled up a chair. I stood. “Virginia, you don’t owe me anything. I . . . I’m not even sure what I saw.”


“Hush, Jake, I want to ask you something.” She paused as if reconsidering. “Do you have the photo album I told you to keep?”


I looked at her blankly. “What? What does that have to do with anything.”


She sighed. “Do you have it?”


“Yes.”


“Go get it Jake. I’ll explain everything.”


I shook my head. “Okay.”


I went down the hall to retrieve the album from my desk. It took me a minute to find the right key. Why I had locked it in my desk, I don’t know.


When I came back to the kitchen, she was gone. A note on the table said:


Jake,
The answer is in the book.
I’m sorry.
-- V.


I sat down and flipped through the pages. What was I looking for? Was there another note slipped inside? She was crazy. But then, on the second to the last page, I saw it. It must have been one of the oldest photos in the album. There, sitting demurely on a fringed chair and dressed in Civil War era clothing and ear bobs, was a beautiful young woman., The face was the very likeness of Virginia.


I gently pulled her out of her photo-cornered placement. Imprinted in the bottom corner was “Langston Studios, Fort Worth, Texas, 1862. I turned the photo over and saw my own mother’s handwriting. It read,

Great great Grandma Vi.  
Born Comanche County, TX 1839 -- died  ?


THE END




Sunday, December 5, 2010

DATE WITH THE UNDEAD


DATE WITH THE UNDEAD
By Johnny Carlson

copyright 2018 john carlson





I was fifteen or sixteen when it all happened. Looking back at photos from that time I have to laugh at how awkward I was with my huge hands and feet and six feet plus of gangly body. I was still living at home and taking for granted that my life would never change. Ideas of college or work or leaving home had not yet captured my imagination.

It was in the fall of the year when the days were shortening perceptibly that I met him –– the son of the new neighbors. I didn’t meet him at school or outside the house mowing the lawn –– didn’t have a visit from the family.

No, I met him at dusk when Dad sent me out for the mail. He stood in front of the box staring at the envelopes in his hand. An average looking kid, shorter than me with dark hair and pasty skin. The gravel of our driveway crunched beneath my feet and caught his attention. He turned slowly toward me. He smiled.

"Hi," I said, suddenly feeling self-conscious.

He didn’t answer, just gave me a quick nod along with the smile. As I got closer I saw that he wasn’t average at all. He was different in an odd sort of way, but I couldn’t have told you what made him so. Maybe he was from some other country, I thought (there weren’t many foreigners where I grew up - at least not then). One thing I was sure of though -- he locked eyes with me and held my gaze too long. It was uncomfortable but hard to look away. When I went around him to get into our mailbox he shifted and continued to stare at me. It gave me the creeps and I pretended not to notice.

As I thumbed through the mail (nothing for me, of course) neither of us moved. I felt more and more ill at ease. Just as I was about to step around him again, he thrust out his hand. "I’m Lorenzo," he said.

"Oh, um . . . nice to meet you. I’m john." I took his hand in my big mitt to shake.

He pointed to the old Victorian with the huge yard, our nearest neighboring house, and said "I’m there."
I tried not to show my surprise at the strange way he said it.


"Oh, yeah. Just moved in, huh?"

"Yes," he said. "Come over and visit me one night."

I couldn’t help it. I chuckled. "One night?"

He smiled, "that would be good."

"Okay," I answered without the slightest intention of taking him up on his offer.  I didn't have many friends at the time, but I wanted to stay away from this kid.  "I’ll see you later." But I didn’t see him later. I didn’t see him for over two months.

* * * * *

I guess I’ve always been a bit jumpy –– wrapped too tight as my brother once told me. But as I reached up to get some aspirin from the shelf above the sink I glanced outside and actually yelped jumping back from the window. "Geez! What the funk!" There is nothing worse than looking out into the dark and seeing an unexpected face! But when I really looked hard I wasn’t sure it was a face after all. There was something white out by the back fence that had seemed like a person looking at me. It slowly faded though and I relaxed a bit, taking a deep breath. Nevertheless, I was happy to leave the kitchen and go to my room. It wasn’t late, but I had homework I wanted to get done so I could watch a movie later.

Maybe five minutes before the knock on the front door, there was a quiet rap on my window. Nothing there. I heard Mom from my bedroom talking to someone, but I couldn’t hear what she was saying. Then footsteps down the hall toward my room. Mom knocked. I stared at the door nervously. "Come in," I said.

Oh my gawd, my heart started beating out of my chest! There was mom with the strange neighbor kid. "Johnny," she smiled brightly, "this is Lorenzo. He lives next door in the old Jacobson house. He came over to visit. Isn’t that nice?"

Yeah, so nice I almost shit when I saw him at the door to my room. "Yes, we met," I said.

"Very briefly," Lorenzo added, staring at me again with those strange riveting eyes.
Once again I felt very awkward and had no idea what to do or say, so I just sat there staring back at them. Then Lorenzo glanced across the room. "What’s that?" he pointed toward the big terrarium in the corner. "Oh!" Mom said, "that’s Johnny’s friend George! You should take a look at him." She walked to the glass tank expecting him to follow her, but he stood like a statue in the doorway.

He looked at me. "May I enter?"

I started to laugh, which eased the tension a bit. "Enter?" I asked. "Sure, by all means, enter. What are you a Vampire?" I chuckled. But he didn’t laugh with me. He just looked at me with a tentative, uncertain smile and walked over to take a look at George.

"Johnny, feed him something so Lorenzo can see."

George was a Jackson Chameleon with the wandering eyes and long sticky tongue. I got up and retrieved a jar of bugs from a small cooler I kept in my room. I opened it and shook a couple cold flies into my hand. "The flies aren’t dead," I told Lorenzo. "They’re just cold. They’ll thaw out in a couple of minutes and start moving around. They won’t fly for awhile though, until they get really warmed up."

"I see," he said, watching me as I opened the top of the tank to drop the flies in.

George knew the drill and decided not to wait long enough for their wings to start buzzing. He moved in slow motion from the top area of the tank down a branch and focused one eye on a fly. His mouth opened slightly revealing a moist pink, and as quick as you could say "there’s a vampire in my room" his tongue shot out and pulled it’s victim inside the toothless mouth. George chewed like an old man gumming his dinner. We were all three leaning toward the front of the glass watching. Lorenzo was riveted. "Wouldn’t it be nice to have a tongue like that?"

"Oh no!" Mom cried out half amused and half disgusted. "Lorenzo, really!" Then she elbowed me. "John, don’t we have interesting neighbors?" she laughed. "Well, I’ll just leave you two alone to visit."

Oh, yeah, that’s just great, I thought. Bring this bizarre person into my room and then just leave me with him!

 We watched as George crunched his fly while eyeing the other which was walking along the bottom of the tank. Just as it started its buzzing flight, George snatched it with his tool. "I don’t suppose flies have much blood," Lorenzo said.


I stared at him in disbelief for a moment. "Well, yeah, they have blood, just like most everything from insects to mammals. But, um . . . no, I guess there isn’t much."

He turned his face toward me. He was handsome –– despite his pallid skin. I guessed he was close to my age, but maybe older. It was hard to tell. He had a faint shadow on his face, but that didn’t tell me his age.  He smiled. "You like games?" he asked.

"What kind of games?" I said.

"How about chess?"

"Yes, I like chess." I answered, "but I don’t have a board."

"If you had one, would you play?" His eyes were on me and way too intensely.
I shrugged in answer.

"Here," he said. He reached behind his jacket and pulled something out and handed it to me. It was a very small chess board. I took it and raised my eyebrows. "And this." From his pocket he brought out a plastic bag with small players.

"Alright. Let’s sit over here." We sat cross-legged on the floor facing each other and unfolded the little board. "I don’t know if I can handle these without knocking them all over."

He raised his eyebrows. "Yes, your hands are rather too large."

I laughed out loud. The way he put things was just too much. But he was growing on me. How can you stay wary of someone who constantly flashes his smile at you. "But if you have trouble," he added, "you can tell me where to move your pieces."

"Where did you move from?" I asked.

"I grew up in the Yukon . . . after coming here from Europe," he added.

"The Yukon! Are you kidding me. That’s like the wilderness, isn’t it?"

"Mmmm," he agreed. "A lot of it is, yes. But we lived near people. There are towns, you know."

We talked the entire time we played and it was a long game. Funny, I lost interest in watching the movie that I had planned on earlier. I had been on the chess team at school for a year and I was a pretty fair player, but Lorenzo was no novice. He was about to win the game. He had the piece in his hand above the board. He hesitated and I looked up at him. He met my eyes and then put the piece down. He made a crucial error. But I was certain he did it on purpose –– either to draw out the game or to let me win. It was at that moment that I decided I was very happy he was sitting there. I was very happy he had moved in next door.  Maybe he was okay.

I was finding myself more and more mesmerized by his answers to my questions.  I was drawn to his beautiful lips.  I had an urge to lean over and kiss him. How strange.  But then, for no apparent reason, my desire was swallowed up by dread.  "Oh my gawd." I blurted out, suddenly feeling very afraid.

"What is it?" he said, smiling that terrible, beautiful smile.

I pulled the chess board out from under the pieces and let them fall. I handed him the board and tried to give him a angry look. "Why are you here?"  It was more of an accusation than an question.

"You invited me in," he answered casually.

"Stop smiling for a minute, would you!  Geez!"  He only raised his eyebrows in mock innocence. My fear, mixed with anger now, bubbled to the surface. "You want to kill me like George killed those flies!"

He laughed softly. "Absolutely not. Not you. I need friends. I chose you."  Then, as if knowing I was attracted to him, he leaned in and put his cold lips to mine.  He didn't know me though!  He was taking a chance. As he pulled back from that brief kiss he looked totally unperturbed, calm and satisfied.

"What do you want from me?" I repeated in a softer voice.

"Nothing," he said. But I knew it was a lie. He wanted everything.
---

So now, I sit here in the daylight writing this. He is lying dead somewhere as all vampires do during the day.   I don’t see him as much as I used to, but when he needs me I am still here. I look forward to the evenings and my occasional time spent with Lorenzo. He still looks the same. I am nearly nineteen now. After much urging by him, I have finally agreed to allow him to stop the aging. Yes, tonight is a very important date -- with the Un-dead.

THE END

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Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Bite day


Happy Bite-day
copyright 2013 john carlson

   





For many years birthdays meant gifts, friends and family. There were always wishes for a happy prosperous year. Big celebrations for doing nothing more spectacular than being born. I loved presents and liked hugging people I didn’t see much of during the rest of the year. I didn’t like being sung to at work or being congratulated by coworkers I barely knew – but those were mere trifles in the bigger happier picture.

Still, I’ve always felt that birthdays were entirely backwards and that mothers should be the recipients of gift giving – since they did all the work – work that lasted at least nine months before the painful delivery.

At any rate, when you hit the two hundred mark, birthday celebrations become a bit stale – especially when there is no one left from your first eighty years. So, I began celebrating another date altogether. My bite-day – in November. That was the day a beautiful stranger bit my neck and stole my blood – most of it anyway. Not that I’d fought the stranger! Still . . . it was a steal.

My whole system was tainted by the bite. The venom worked quickly and my defiled blood insured a quick but excruciatingly painful death. Then came the curse of resurrection to the world I’d only just left, for crying out loud! Up and beautiful and endowed with strange new powers and an eerie lightness that belied a new preternatural strength.


So, this November night I awaited my biteday guests -- most dead by dawn but fabulous at dusk! I’d have my living guests too. A few friends who are under my protection – especially at parties. When they all finally arrived, some one of them made a toast to my long existence and while the living clinked glasses, the dead sipped the necks of their willing companions (bitten but not brought over).

Naturally I was surprised and amused by a large gift given me by two of the living. A  dark mahogany casket lined in cream colored satin. Some of the others must have been in on it, for I also received a soft red velvet pillow and matching underwear. This last made me laugh out loudly. Of course I preferred my old-fashioned curtained four poster bed, but I would use the coffin at least once for their benefits.


When they’d all left after a lovely evening of laughter music and conversation, I prepared to retire for the coming daylight hours. Alas no perfect gift did I receive. But, if I was lucky, some pure and self-righteous son of a bitch would sneak back to stake me while I slept – a biteday gift of final rest. But it was doubtful.